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 Posted on Aug 29th
View adult dating member profile hereHothorous
age 64
St Albans

Very nicely put! And very true!

 
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 Posted on Aug 15th
View adult dating member profile hereGunnawill
age 67
Warminster

There is a book which is beloved of ladies and has caused a surge in
the profits of Ann Summers. In my opinion the book is very badly
written, is gathered from second hand material and, basically, is
light porn… chick-porn.

I don’t want to scare anyone away from trying BDSM … but do take
care. Many 50 plus men will claim to be Doms just to get laid. And
they will make a rough approximation of it. But there are dangers
and it can take a long apprenticeship to understand the Dom/sub
dynamic and not cause damage.

Spanking, with anything other than the hand, can cause bruises which
are very hard to explain away… spanking can also cause permanent
damage if the Dom strays out of the target area. Anything other than
the hand is decidely more risky. (Hint for wannabe Doms: more time
should be spent caressing the target area than spanking).

With bondage… again be careful. You may end up restrained in a
hotel room with a man you do not know. Always consider… ‘What
happens if he has a heart-attack? What happens if he turns odd?’
‘What happens if he loses the key or there is a fire-alarm?’

It is perfectly possible to play at bondage, in the beginning, with
paper tape restraints… these can easily be broken by the sub if
things go wrong… but they can provide the same level of constraint
(it is all in your mind anyway). (Hint for wannabe Doms: Make
paper cuffs around each wrist (loosely),cross the wrists, and then
tape the cuffs together).

Agree a SAFE word before you play. This is an unusual word
(‘Red’, ‘Safe’, ‘Putty’) which when uttered by either the
Dom or the sub IMMEDIATELY stops all play (the lights come on). If
the sub uses the safe word then the Dom should release her and offer
to leave the room. If not an extreme stop then the sub and Dom can
discuss the problem… and play can re-commence. (Hint for wannabe
Doms: ALWAYS respect the SAFE word… encourage your partner to use
it).

Sub-space… this is advanced stuff but if a sub goes into sub-space
the Dom must take great emotional and physical care of her. She may
be unable to respond… unable to say her SAFE word. (Hint for
wannabe Doms: If your partner goes into sub-space (inability to
communicate). bless your cotton socks and get on-line as fast as
possible to find out what is going on. Come back to play as a much
better, enlightened, and thankful Dom).

Finally… domination should be all about the mind… what is said..
and done Just asking your sub to stand proudly with her hands
crossed behind her back while she is caressed can be highly
stimulation for both. It is not about humiliation and it is not about
causing pain in somebody who does not like it (that is torture). It
is about your sub enjoying pleasing you while you enjoy both the
beauty and the pleasure you are giving your sub. Dom/sub
relationships can be the most honest, truthful and intimate..

xxGunnawillxx

 
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